Body Issues

You should leave me babe
Or punch me without a kiss
Leave me bloody and bruised
I’m only really here to be used babe
Seconds before midnight
Turning down empty roads of pain
Sore muscles and cutting edges
Bones stretching the skin too far
I’ll apologize to my body for all the destruction I’ve brought
With little knives and fingernails
After all so much happens when I’m away
Flower kisses and wedding rings
Hallcinations happen all the time now babe
But it’s something I’ve forgotten
I don’t miss all the curves and twists
All the ways you’d slip away like body heat from empty sheets
But I do miss your call voice in my ear
Directing me with a correction every now and then
Sadly you’re not something physical
Or something I can hug
Life would be so much easier
If you were something I could touch

-S.F.403
(inspired by Spilled Ink and Tea Stains [real sorry if I got yet name wrong])

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Separating

Book shelves, telephone wires

Stretching so far it hurts

Monsters in the dark 

Separating the light of day from all the simple “okay”s

Endless earbuds and music noises

Guitar strings, drumsticks

Ice cream and your smile

Pretty girls and ‘tranny’ jokes

Breezes cutting flesh with warm air and rain making coloured paint streaks

Make up tears up 

Mascara and eyeliner

Lipstick and cigarettes

Drink yourself to death but laugh yourself out of breath

Missing air from space kisses

Pastel aliens with pretty markers

Delicate flowers, bruised knuckles

Metalheads and music 

Punk rock and studs

Your so pretty in comparison

-S.F.403

Explained

Strange land masses glow at me in the dark. But I pay it no mind. Pens and pencils skitter away from my reaching hands. But I pay it no mind. I’m a stupid kid in this empty world. Somewhere between a man and a boy and yet rejecting both in favour of neither.  

Crayons

Markers

Those little leadless things

I’m drawing headless things. Fucking dead chickens.

Stupid things I smile at. Pretty things I adore. But it’s all things you like I pretend are in my core. 

Hair that shifts colours and sleepless nights alone. Remembered things forgotten, score kept to even.

You’re so far away but with a message I’m beside you. Though words and explained thoughts have always fucked me up. I’m not much good with this texting thing. Simple things I can count, though my numbers blur with letters and the hidden shapes I’ve made. I count down the seconds to the days until we meet.

My broken ribs are in pain. But I pay it no mind. 

I haven’t been around much but I like to think it isn’t my fault.

Annoying things annoy me. In case you didn’t know

I’m a mix of stupid contradictions and hypocritical thoughts. A broken clock that keeps on ticking. 

A person of words yet without feelings or empathy.

Your pain is my pain so kill yourself if you dare.

I’ll end my days in salt water and mystery.

I’ll pretend I’m not empty and continue to smile even though you no longer stare.

-S.F.403

Scurvy

Ocean’s depths of peril in your eyes

Curling storm clouds mark the skies

A paintbrushes smooth ink writes in passing as you go

Letter by letter, calm and slow

So I’ll say goodbye to you as you have to me

Give a wave at the parting of the sea

Salt water can mar my cheeks with every splash 

My skin can bruise in halfmoons from the winds slash

The ocean floor is not deep enough for the depths of my dispair

As you seem to smile at me without a care

Whatever though I know you’re happy there away from me

Though I love you if you’d only see

-S.F.403

    

Who would rather end it with you

I’ll say goodbye

It’s the end of the world

Looking up at the sky 

It’s the closing of our forever

It’s not your fault

But if it is

I thank you for always smiling at me

I’ll say goodbye

It’s the end of the world

But if it’s not that’s okay too

I don’t blame you

Don’t worry I trust you

It’s the end of the world

But I’m with you

So it’s nothing new

But I’ll keep smiling at you

No matter how much I cry

I’ll look up at the sky

I’ll say goodbye

It’s not your fault

But if it is

I still love you

You’d never betray me

Or lead me a stray

It’s just the end of the world

Even if the sun dies today

There’s always a morning after

-S.F.403

Cause I’m a deadboi

But if I could write you words babe

I won’t forget you babe

Make me die through dreams

Dreaming of you with knives and guns

Violence and edges

Suicide and choking hands

Dead things and walking corpses

I’m a dead boy

Die with me babe

Fucking Romeo and Juliet

A story to remember 

But you don’t remember me

I’m messages on a screen

Buttons never clicked and a story never finished

Keyboard words and angry parents

Hugs, kisses, sex and all those sentimental things

I’m your dead boy, babe

Qoute me on this now

When I say

“You’d never make me frown”

Because honestly when I’m with you

I might as well drown

-S.F.403

But i Remember You

Tie your ribbon around my feet

Wrap me tight in these wishing dreams

Let me sleep in blissful peace

But please don’t leave me alone just yet

I’m sorry for all the things I say

And all the emotions I show

I know how you hate them so I’ll try to take them away

You say I’m pretty when I smile

Happy notes and shaking hands

Hugs and easy words

It’s not goodbye it’s see you later

But insecurities rob my thoughts

And fear infects my brain

Please don’t leave me half way through this dark tunnel

When I know you’re all on the other side

But for you

Whether it be my feet, wrists, or throat

I’ll carry the thought of you wherever I go

My friends and family so stretched and far between

Gone is time and distance as memories make me smile

I hope to return one day

Return your smiles and stay

But for now

For now, I’ll take a single step in the right direction

For every million I take back

Because that single step

Is a step forward to the future

And a step that brings me closer to you

-S.F.403